I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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