You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
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