her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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