Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
