So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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