Swine flu. Run for my life!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
