We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
