All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
