I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
