she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
