I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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