just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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