I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
