I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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