We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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