You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I AM VODKA MAN
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
