youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
