Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
