We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
