His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
