Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
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Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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