my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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