i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
