I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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