Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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