shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
