I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
