Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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