is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
