It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
