I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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