Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
