last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
