I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
