i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
