We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
