I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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