He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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