we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think we might need a safe word for this...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
