wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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