Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
