everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
