you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize