just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
