i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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