FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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