my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No subtext here. People are naked.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize