My friends, they love my intelligence
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
