Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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