Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
