I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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