Christians are straight up FREAKS
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
