Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize