Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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