I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
