Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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