You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
