im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
