I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
