He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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