He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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