Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
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That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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