I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
