so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
