So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
